Will I have difficulty bonding with my baby if I have breastfeeding problems?

Bonding, or what is often called ‘attachment’ or the ‘caring connection’ between a child and parent, is an important part of a child’s physical and emotional development. Some parents report immediately feeling a strong connection with their child during pregnancy or soon after the birth. Other parents report they did not feel an instant connection. Both feelings are okay and normal.

Bonding and attachment can sometimes happen right away and can sometimes take weeks or months of getting to know and understand your baby to find what works best for you and your child and each of your unique needs.

Breastfeeding is not the only way to nurture or bond with your child. There are many other important ways to build connection and attachment between you and your baby.

Recommendations:

• Find times to hold your baby against your bare skin. There are many positive benefits including body temperature regulation, breathing and heart rate regulation, hormone release for both you and the child, calming, and improved sleep.
• Cuddle with your child. Ensure you have the chance to hold, rock, or carry your child during times that are not only related to feeding, bathing, diaper changes or consoling. Sometimes those quiet moments are really important moments of connection and affection.
• Respond to your baby when they cry. This may be by gently touching their skin, picking them up or by using your voice. Let your baby know you are nearby and aware of their needs.
• Talk to your baby throughout the day. It might feel awkward at first but tell stories, describe people and the world around them, talk about what you are doing, or sing to your child.
• Look into your newborn’s eyes while you feed or care for your child. This helps your newborn to connect your face with your sounds and actions.
• Find ways to soothe yourself as well as your child. Take a few deep breaths. Listen to music you enjoy. Visit with friends you feel comfortable with. Look at a picture of a place where you like to spend time. Babies pick up on adults’ feelings of tension and anxiety but also soak up their feelings of calm and comfort.